1. Tax relief for anyone entering the World Beard and Moustache Championships
2. Road tax dependent on the diameter of your exhaust, automatically doubled if you drive a Vauxhall Nova
3. 100% duty rate on sovereign rings / hoop earrings
4. Law against wearing hoods over baseball caps and men wearing ankle-length socks
5. Introduce a national holiday during World Darts Championships
6. Introduction into national curriculum: lessons on the benefits of sporting a mullet hairstyle
7. Tax rebates on construction of roller-coasters in back gardens
8. Relaxing of laws governing modifications to grade 2 listed buildings, where bowling alleys will be installed
9. National distribution of life-size HM Queen posters
10. Setting-up of British Pornography Library next to British Library, with free access to all (favourites such as Anabolic Assman will be reference only)
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